The following experiences all happened to me and make me laugh now as I look back on them. I hope you find them enjoyable as well!

Boating
When you and your girlfriend go for a ride in a twelve-foot wooden boat on Pine Lake, don't try to impress her with the speed of the boat or with your ability to run it in circles. Remember that the outboard motor puts out more power than you might suspect. Don't try to jump the waves made by the boat's wake. When the boat hits a large wave on an angle, it thrashes you about, causing you fall out of the boat. Your girlfriend is left to try to figure out how to stop the boat while you thrash about helplessly in the lake. It also causes the neighbors on shore to call out asking if you are OK. It's very embarrassing and quite difficult to get back into the boat, wet clothes and all. Your girlfriend will not be impressed.

Hauling Wood
When you park your pickup truck on a hill and fill it with firewood, be sure that the truck has an effective emergency brake or that you have a helper who can drive the truck. Don't rely on the sticks of wood behind the wheels to keep it from rolling down the hill. When it is time to haul the wood home, you have to kick out the wood from behind the wheels. And, because there is no one driving the truck, it starts to roll on its own, making it impossible to get back into the truck to steer it. You have to watch helplessly as it rolls wildly down the hill and finally crashes into the ditch. You then have to unload the truck, figure out how to get it out of the ditch and repair the damage.

Falling a tree
When cutting a tree in the forest, don't assume that the weight of the tree will keep it from getting caught up in the branches of the neighboring trees. When it does get snagged, you can cut another section off and hope that it falls to the ground. When that doesn't work, you can pry on the tree and cut it a third time. Unfortunately you don't realize that you now are falling the tree in the opposite direction and it will take down the power lines and block the road.

Yellow Jacket Wasps
It is not wise to throw rocks at a nest of yellow jacket wasps in an old tree stump. It makes them very upset and they spread out from the tree stump looking for the cause of the destruction. Then, when you try to sneak up close to the stump to throw in a baggie filled with gasoline, they fly into your face and sting you under the eyes and crawl into your pants. This causes you to run wildly through the forest beating at your head and pants. The hive of wasps is still in the stump and your face and legs swell with the pain of their stings. Your friends, who were watching from a distance, are in pain as well trying to catch their breath from laughing.

Bulldozers
When it's the weekend and you find a bulldozer with a key in its ignition, don't play with it to see if it will start. Even though it doesn't start on the first couple of attempts, and even though it's fun to look at the smoke that comes out of the smokestack, it eventually will start. And, when it does, you have to watch as it rolls forward on its own toward the new house that is being built. Hopefully you will be lucky enough to have it hit a pile of bricks and stop before it reaches the house.

Painting
When painting the outside of a house and using an extension ladder, have the proper equipment to hold the gallon of latex paint that you are using. Don't set it on the roof of the house, especially if the roof has a steep pitch. When you hear a sliding noise coming from the roof, it will be the can of paint sliding towards the edge. And when it hits the edge of the roof, it will tip over before you can catch it. Unfortunately you are just in the right position for it to spill over your entire face, head and body. It is very embarrassing to have to call the homeowner to come out, get the garden hose, and spray you down to remove the paint. Your clothes will be forever tainted from the paint and it's a quick way to lose the trust of your employer.

Tree limbs
When cutting tree limbs with a chain saw from a huge cedar tree, be sure that you have adequate support. Don't use an extension ladder leaned against the limb that you are cutting. When the limb unexpectedly breaks, you are thrown off balance. To keep from falling, you are forced to drop the saw to the ground. Chain saws do not do well when they smash into the ground from such a height.

Rolling large firewood rounds
When you are cutting firewood from a tree that is on a steep slope, be careful how you roll the sections of the logs to get them to the road below. Be especially careful when you have left your chainsaw on the road because a two-hundred-pound chunk of wood, even when it has almost stopped rolling, can still crack the handle of your chainsaw when it tips over on it. Also, be aware that when the firewood rounds crash through the forest, they may disturb nests of yellow jackets. When you follow the path of the rounds down the hill, the wasps will find you and take out their anger by getting into your shirt, pants and hair. You don't feel like cutting more wood when there are welts all over your body.

Taking a short cut
When you've been out late at night and are very tired, be aware that there are animals that may dart out onto the road. When a cat jumps in front of the car, use the break effectively. Don't swerve the car and drive it into the ditch. And, when it is in the ditch and you can't drive it out, you might be lucky to be only a mile from home. However, don't take a short cut across an open field when you are unaware of the stretched barbwire fence in the middle of it. When you are jogging and tired you will not see the wire and it will trip you, causing you to hit the ground and skin up your elbows and knees. You can't jog very fast with those bumps and bruises.

Plumbing fixtures
When you are attempting to fix a leaky kitchen faucet, don't keep trying to tighten the copper fittings on the valves. You will eventually strip the threads and the pressure of the water will shoot the fitting from its socket causing water to gush out in a huge fountain, spraying everything in the kitchen, including you. Besides, it's not enjoyable to dive into the freezing water groping for the shut-off valve, which is hidden in an awkward location.

Soup and gravity
When you get a cup of potato soup at work and set it on your desk, don't open the cabinet directly above the soup and try to grab a tablet of paper. When the tablet slips from your hand it will fall onto the soup and flip the soupspoon and cup into a cascade, which splatters over your face, your suit jacket, your tie, your computer screen and your computer keyboard. It will be difficult to properly clean it from your face and clothes, and even more difficult to explain to the computing support personnel why your keyboard has chunks of potato within it.

Hiding places
When you are small in stature, and are playing hide-and-go-seek, don't try to hide behind a curtain in front of the home furnace. The electric wires that have a small exposed section will find that your body can be used to complete a circuit. It is very difficult to keep quiet after receiving a shock from a 220-volt line.

Eating places
When you are visiting out of town, don't be lured into a restaurant by an advertisement about breakfast for $1.99, even if it is eggs and hash brown potatoes. The grease on the windows, the cloud of flies, and the dirty silverware should tip you off that it is not a good place to eat. Besides, it makes your guests sick to watch you eat the slimy, runny eggs, raw hash browns, burnt toast and coffee with a film of oil on its surface.

Taking Orders over the phone
When you do silk-screening of bumper stickers, be very careful when taking an order over the phone. The two hundred "Save Sell Hill" bumper stickers that took you two days to make will not satisfy the customer when the hill they are trying to save is "Fell Hill".